jesiah

Joy and Sadness

// April 11th, 2009 // Life

Easter weekend makes me think a lot about the contrasts of Joy and Sadness… the fact that Jesus was horribly crucified plagues my mind and yet so closely connected is the joy of His ressurection.  I always tend to not say too much and keep my thoughts and emotions to myself when it comes to this subject.

I was praying for my brother a lot this weekend more so than usual because I felt such a strong urge in my spirit to cover him in prayer.  I want him to grow closer to God but I don’t seem to see that happening and I fear that he is too luke warm at least from what I’ve experienced when being around him and talking with him recently.   It scares me to think that my own brother.. my only brother could be disconnected from a God that loves us like he does.

There are only two things that scare me right now in my life.

1. The fact that my brother is far away from God.
2. That I’ll never have a girlfriend.

I’m so happy for all of my friends that are getting married but it just keeps reminding me that I’ve been single for what seems like an eternity.  I’ve got some amazing friends but I guess I haven’t had that moment where something clicks in the spirit where I just know that "she" is the one.  I wonder if it will ever happen.
I think of the phrase "Its better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all" because sometimes I would just like to know that someone could want to fall in love with me.

Prayer requests:

1. That God continues to draw my brother and that people just surround him to minister and uplift him to follow christ.
2. That God keeps refining and molding me into the man that He wants me to be.

The best way I’ve found to let my feelings out is to write them in a song, if only that someone could relate and know that they are not alone.  Ironic that this is a song about not wanting to be alone haha…
"Jesiah – Don’t Wanna Be Alone"